Oh no he's back for more

[dehipster]

[So Benny's still in Wankerville. By now, he's getting a better grasp of what's going on and what to expect. This isn't just because he's spoken to Shelly and Tori; it's because he found a certain convenient book. It's titled "Welcome to Wankerville, Random Nexus Facts For Dummies".

That's not the only thing he's found.

Right now, he's sitting on the front steps of one of the houses, playing with four kittens. He's not sure where their mother is, but he does know they were incredibly hungry when he stumbled across them. Luckily, they seem to about four or five weeks old, so they accepted meat scraps just fine. He fed them and now he's stuck with them. Not that he minds, of course. He enjoys their company. Shoe was already a fully-grown, lazy tomcat when Benny got him, so the opportunity to play with actual kittens is new to him.]

Comments

[dehipster]

So far, I've only met one. Her name is Tori.

[dekillerqueen]

That is... curious. You are the only person I've met here.

[WHAT DOES IT MEAAAAN]

[dehipster]

[It means Shelly should create his own post, because Tori's player would probably tag into that. =P]

Hm... Perhaps you'll come across her soon.

[dekillerqueen]

[TOO BAD SHELLY'S PLAYER IS A SHY DWEEB. And too bad Shelly is... well...]

... Hmm. I can't say I particularly care for meeting new people... unless you think she may require my services.

[For fuck's sake Shelly.]

[dehipster]

[Benny's first instinct is "Hahaah. No." But then he actually stops to think about it.]

Hmm... Apparently, she hopes to kill a man called Edward Cullen. [Ever heard of Twilight, Shelly?]

I WAS JUST READING THAT THREAD I CANNOT BELIEVE

[dekillerqueen]

... [No. No, he hasn't.] Oh? Interesting.

I see that, in spite of your choice of profession, you still associate with particular kinds of people...

Have I seriously never told you about Otherwonders? XD

[dehipster]

[Wow, dad. WOW.] Hah, well... She has a good reason. From what I've heard, this Edward Cullen has been raising an army and is invading other worlds to conquer.

[It still sounds both ridiculous and hilarious.]

I THINK I'D REMEMBER IT IF YOU HAD

[dekillerqueen]

I... see. Are you quite certain this is a task for a mere assassin?

WELL NOW YOU KNOW.

[dehipster]

It depends on how powerful he is and how great the security surrounding him would be. ...Do you think you wouldn't be up for the task? [Trolololol.]

[dekillerqueen]

... It certainly doesn't sound like an infeasible task, as long as I don't have to face his entire army all at once.

[BENNY AREN'T YOU NEGLECTING TO TELL YOUR DAD SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT ABOUT EDWARD CULLEN]

[dehipster]

[Which thing? The vampire thing? The evil overlord thing? The fact that they don't even know where he is?]

Assuming most of his army is out conquering other worlds, the security surrounding him may be minimal. The biggest trouble would be locating him, as he could be hiding in literally any world. [But hey, let Benny know when you find him, pops. He may never get another chance to watch Edward Cullen get murdered.]

[dekillerqueen]

[THE VAMPIRE THING IS KIND OF IMPORTANT]

... I hope you understand I have virtually no experience with cross-world jobs.

[dehipster]

That's fine. It's only something to keep in mind. [...] If I remember correctly, he can't be harmed by bullets. The only way to kill him would be to burn him, possibly after dismemberment. [He can't quite remember- it's been a long time since he read that load of bull.]

[dekillerqueen]

[......]

Perhaps... you should have mentioned the fact that this Mr. Cullen isn't human sooner.

[dehipster]

That isn't a problem, is it? As long as you know the correct method for taking his life, it should be fine. ...As I said, his location would be the biggest obstacle.

[dekillerqueen]

I was under the impression that vampires were supposed to have... certain superhuman abilities.

[dehipster]

This one is... special. If you'd like to research him, there's a whole book series about his contrived love life. It's called Twilight.

[Oh he is trying so hard to limit his grin to a nonchalant smile. Let's just focus on petting this kitty, yup.]

[dekillerqueen]

Is his love life altogether relevant to the matter at hand...?

[dehipster]

I'm... not certain. But the book describes his particular species of vampire as well.

[dekillerqueen]

I suppose if I could narrow down the most relevant chapters... I may be able to conduct some research.

[Holy shit Benny stop your dad right now.]

[dehipster]

[Nope, not stopping him. Everyone needs to be familiar with Twilight.]

Then, I'll let Tori know an expert is looking into the matter.

[dekillerqueen]

[Benny you're a MONSTER]

... Hmm. It would be terribly convenient if a copy of this book happened to be lying around somewhere in this place...

[dehipster]

Interestingly enough, I found a rather convenient book myself a few days ago. It detailed everything I needed to know about this place. Perhaps convenience will strike a second time.

[dekillerqueen]

[You really need to start mentioning this kind of thing sooner, son.]

... Where is this book?

[dehipster]

It's inside the house. Do you want me to go get it for you? [You know, this... house that Benny commandeered all to himself and will now be sharing with four kittens.]